Self-esteem which is really similar to another word; self-worth, is something that can change day to day. In general terms though, self-esteem is something that tends to develop in the very early years of infancy and grows until we are adults. Self-esteem can also be defined through love. For instance, if you have a child who achieved an A in school, but they don’t feel loved, they may experience low self-esteem. On the other hand, a child that is loved may not be sure about their abilities, and that can result in self-esteem issues as well. If your child has self-esteem issues it’s better to handle it now than later on in life when it’s much more difficult to make those changes as an individual, or as your child. Here are a few ways you can teach your child self-esteem.
Compliment Your Kid
You might think that compliments are only good for tweens, teens or adults, but children also benefit from compliments and it helps build their self-esteem. Whenever possible, especially when they are younger, compliment the way they do something. Say things like “I am proud of you”, but also consider giving them confidence AND self-esteem by saying things like “I like the way you figured that problem out.” That way it’s not just about praising them, but praising them for doing it in their own way.
Setting Goals
In some classrooms, a teacher in NJ may practice this technique. It’s about not only setting goals, but setting goals that are actually attainable. They can really simple things like dressing themselves, getting a certain grade on a test, etc. Or they can be more complex – just make sure your child is able to obtain them. This is not about goal setting that is farfetched or to the point where they will fail. We WANT them to succeed. As your child is working towards the task at hand, make sure you compliment them along the way. Once the child reaches the goal at hand, you should also praise them, compliment them and reinforce that image as an achiever that can set goals and exceed them.
Healthy Risks and Mistakes
In the same way it’s good to protect them, it’s also important to sometimes let them make their own risks and mistakes – as long as they are healthy and won’t put them in danger. Parents need to remember that rescuing their kid all the time is not the best thing in the world to do. Sometimes if you give them some credit they can make a good choice. Sometimes they might not make a good choice, but if they learn from their mistake chances are A) they will feel better about you not correcting them and learning it on their own bad B) they will hopefully learn their mistake and not do it in the future. In order to build self-esteem and confidence, sometimes they have to take their own chances, their own choices and obviously take responsibility for them.
Feeling Accomplished
So many parents these days want their kids to be super social and super involved with what the “normal” thing to do is; sports, music class, dance class, etc. Instead, find an activity that your child likes – ask them, I am sure they will have something to say! Once they show interest in something, make sure you provide praise and love so that they follow through with that task or interest. It doesn’t matter if it IS sports or video games or whatever else. Make sure that they receive positive reinforcement to achieve that specific task and when it’s completed they will feel an overwhelming sense of accomplishment. It might seem like such a little thing, but this does help build confidence and self-esteem.
Shari Duddy - How to Be A Teacher 